I'm The Nicest Goddamn Dame That Ever

At 50, I Thought Proudly: Here We Are, Half Century! Being 60 Was Fairly Frightening. You Want To Know How I Spent My 70th Birthday? I Put On A Completely Black Face, A Fuzzy Black Afro Wig, Wore Black Clothes And Hung A Black Wreath On My Door.

I've Been Lucky. I'll Be Lucky Again.

Brought Up To Respect The Conventions, Love Had To End In Marriage. I'm Afraid It Did.

Never, Never Trust Anyone Who Asks For White Wine. It Means They're Phonies.

I Wouldn't Piss On Joan Crawford If She Were On Fire.