I'm Taking Viagra And Drinking Prune Juice.

One Night She Told Me To Put Out The Garbage. I Told Her "you Cooked It, You Take It Out".

It's Tough To Stay Married. My Wife Kisses The Dog On The Lips, Yet She Won't Drink From My Glass.

With Girls I Get No Respect. A Belly Dancer Told Me I Turned Her Stomach.

The Other Night A Mugger Took Off His Mask And Made Me Wear It.

When I Was Forty, I Was Getting Divorced, Living In A Low-class, Dirty Hotel In New York. My Mother Was Dying Of Cancer. I Owed $20,000. That Was About The Lowest. I Came Back To Show Business, And I Couldn't Get A Job. I Was Turned Down By Every Small-time Agent In New York.