I'm Leaving Because The Weather Is Too

No, Groucho Is Not My Real Name. I Am Breaking It In For A Friend. I Never Forget A Face, But In Your Case I'll Be Glad To Make An Exception. I Find Television Very Educating. Every Time Somebody Turns On The Set, I Go Into The Other Room And Read A Book. I Have Had A Perfectly Wonderful Evening, But This Wasn't It. I Didn't Like The Play, But Then I Saw It Under Adverse Conditions - The Curtain Was Up.

Groucho: You Know I Think You're The Most Beautiful Woman In The World? Woman: Really? Groucho: No, But I Don't Mind Lying If It Gets Me Somewhere.

Remember, The Grass Is Always Greener Where You Don't Happen To Be The Neighbor.

I Don’t Have A Photograph, But You Can Have My Footprints. They’re Upstairs In My Socks.

I've Been Around So Long, I Knew Doris Day Before She Was A Virgin.