I'm Keith," He Said, "and You're .

I Don't Know If There Is Actually More Rain Here In England, Or If It Was Just That The Rain Seemed To Be So Deliberately Annoying. Every Drop Hit The Window With A Peevish "am I Bothering You? Does This Make You Cold And Wet? Oh, Sorry.

Mouth Guard. And I Think We'll Start You In Goal." Goal Sounded Like A Special Job. I Didn't Want A Special Job, Unless That Special Job Involved Sitting On The Side Under A Pile Of Blankets.

You Can Never Visit The Same Place Twice. Each Time, It's A Different Story. By The Very Act Of Coming Back, You Wipe Out What Came Before.

It Was Like The Entire World Was Colluding To Make Me Feel Insane, And It Was Doing A Really Good Job.

Also, When On A Campaign To Convince A Stranger That You Aren't A Few Fries Short Of A Happy Meal, Throwing Around Phrases Like "tangentially Swedish" Is Not The Best Way To Go.