I'm Just Trying To Make A Smudge

Now There Are Reports That Osama Bin Laden Would Like To Commit Suicide On Television. This Is The Kind Of Lead-in I Have Been Praying For Every Since I Came To Cbs. Bin Laden Is Planning A Televised Suicide Or, As I Call It, Hosting The Academy Awards.

Donald Trump Is Talking About Running For President. He Hasn't Made An Announcement, But I Want To Tell You Something. The Fake Suspense Is Killing Me.

Bush Met With Former President Jimmy Carter. Jimmy Carter Is 76 Years Old, Or As Democrats Call Him 'their Bright New Star Of The Future.'

You Have Kim Jong Il, And You Have His Brother, Menta Lee Il.

President Obama Says He Wants To Put An End To The Policy, 'don't Ask, Don't Tell.' Yeah, In The Military. This Is Not To Be Confused With George Bush's Policy, 'don't Know, Don't Care.' That's A Whole Different Deal.