I'm Getting Pretty Worried. My Girlfriend Hasn't

My Girlfriend Makes Me Want To Be A Better Person... So I Can Get A Better Girlfriend.

She Got Really Mad A Month Ago, Because She Had E-mailed Me A Naked Picture Of Herself - Which Is A Nice Thing To Do - But Then I Messed Up, And I Accidentally Forwarded That E-mail To Both Of My Parents. Now, My Girlfriend Is Furious, Mortified, But I Don't Even Care, 'cause Now I Have To Call Up My Mother And Say 'mom, I Am So Sorry - That Picture Was Just For Dad.'

I Want To Get A Tattoo Of The Word Irony, Only Misspelled.

Stereotypes Wouldn't Be So Bad If Black People Were Nicer, In General.

Valentine's Day Was Created By The Greeting Card Industry To Get Pussy.