I'm An Outdoor Nut. If I'm Not

A Lot Of People Up North, They Think Everybody From The South Is Married To Their Sister And Has Seen A Ufo. I Told Them, 'i'm Just Dating My Sister And Couldn't Swear That It Wasn't A Weather Balloon.'

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Father Encourages You To Quit School Because Larry Has An Opening On The Lube Rack.

If You're A Man And You've Ever Been Antique Shopping During A Big Football Game, You're Either Gay Or Married.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Need One More Hole Punched In Your Card To Get A Freebie At The House Of Tattoos.

I'm Two Decisions Away From Putting Up Drywall For A Living. I Am, And There's Nothing Wrong With That, But Whatever I Got, It's Through The Grace Of God, And I've Got To Use It Right.