I'm An Optimist - I Feel Like

I'm In A Situation With This Girl That's As Hopeless As Overthrowing The Bush Administration.

I Just Didn’t Want To Be Pigeonholed As An 'ethnic Comic' Or An 'asian Comic.' I Just Wanted To Be On The Same Playing Field As Everyone Else.

One Of My Life Goals Is To Be A Best Man. It's A Baller Position. You Get Drunk, You Make Speeches, And You Make Love To The Prettiest Bridesmaid, Usually Standing From Behind.

To Be Honest, I Tend To Romanticize The Past, And Though I Appreciate All The Conveniences Of Modern Life, Sometimes I Yearn For Simpler Times.

I Have A Couple Of 'doing Caps' In My Wallet. That's What I Call Condoms.