I'm An Action Transvestite.

There's Two Positions In Snowboarding. One Is Looking Cool And The Other Is Dead!

It's A Historical Thing, Up To The 19th Century The English Hated The French. Then In The 20th Century The English Started To Hate The Germans - As We Began To Move Alphabetically Through The Map Of The World. Now, The Year 2000, We Are Fine With The Germans... But The Hungarians Are Pissing Us Off.

Comedy Is Like A Very Cokey, Druggy Sugar. You Get Hits Of Comedy, And It's Very, "more, Give Me More Of That Stuff," Because Serotonin Is Being Released In The Brain. So It's Basically, Everyone Becomes Serotonin Junkies, And We Are Serotonin Dealers. And That's What Being A Comedian Is About.

Racist People, Interestingly, Are Never As Polite As Smokers. Have You Noticed That? Smokers Always Go, "do You Mind If I Smoke? Oh, You Do? Okay, I'll Go Outside And Have A Cigarette."

Horseshoes Are Lucky. Horses Have Four Bits Of Lucky Nailed To Their Feet. They Should Be The Luckiest Animals In The World. They Should Rule The Country. They Should Win All Their Horse Races, At Least. 'in The Fifth Race Today, Every Single Horse Was First Equal...one Horse Threw A Shoe Came In Third...the Duck Was Ninth...and Five Ran.'