I'm A Schizophrenic Mix Of Wannabe Glamourpuss

I Can't Stand Folk Who Are All Snobby About Reality Tv.

Well, I Really Don't Like Heights. I Don't Get On The Top Deck Of A Double-decker Because That's A Bit High For Me. I Always Feel That I'm Going To Hurl Myself Off, So Heights Are A Problem.

Without Fake Tan I Have The Skin Tones Of A Dead Jellyfish.

I Have A Fear Of Poverty In Old Age. I Have This Vision Of Myself Living In A Skip And Eating Cat Food. It's Because I'm Freelance, And I've Never Had A Proper Job. I Don't Have A Pension, And My Savings Are Dwindling. I Always Thought Someone Would Just Come Along And Look After Me.

I Wouldn't Say I Was Grumpy. It's More Pathological - I Have Seismic Tantrums. I Get Red In The Face And Cry At Least Three Times A Week, And I Have To Lie Down And Have A Nap Afterwards.