I Love The Tea Party. They Are

I Was Watching Ashlee Simpson On Jay's Show Last Night... She Was Really Singing, And I Was Saying, 'bring Back The Lip Synch'... And It Struck Me That Ashlee Simpson Is A Lot Like George Bush - Because She Wouldn't Even Really Be In The Big Leagues If It Wasn't For Family Connections, And She's In Way Over Her Head. And She Doesn't Know What To Do. And She Blamed Her Band.

The First Amendment Was Specifically Designed For Citizens To Insult Politicians. Libel Laws Were Written To Protect Law Students Speaking Out On Political Issues From Getting Called Whores By Oxycontin Addicts.

We Have Been The Cowards Lobbing Cruise Missiles From 2,000 Miles Away. That's Cowardly. Staying In The Airplane When It Hits The Building, Say What You Want About It, It's Not Cowardly.

I Always Wanted To Be A Comedian, Even When I Was A Little Kid. I Had A Funny Father Who Was In The News Business, By The Way. He Was A Radio News Guy. So The News Was Always In My House, And Funny Was Always In My House. It Was Sort Of Just Baked Into The Dna That I Would Do This For A Living, But I Can Remember Being Less Than 10 Years Old And Dreaming About Being A Comedian.

I See They Found Out The Universe Is 80 Million Years Older Than We Thought. It's Also Been Lying About Its Weight.