I Like To Think That My Arrogance,

For Somebody Who Has Injured Their Brain, Every Single Thing They Say And Think Will Be The Subject Of Their Own Questioning.

Ask Any Ferrari, Porsche Or Ray-ban Salesperson About Their Average Customer And You Will Very Likely Hear That He Is Not, As The Adverts Would Have Us Believe, A Virile Young Footballer With Shiny Hair, A Rippling Six Pack And A Trouser Pouch Like A New Punch Bag. He Is, In Fact, A Middle-aged Bloke Wearing More Chins Than He Started Life With And Carrying The Clear Evidence Of Forty Years Of Beer And Pies Slung Across His Midriff.

Unless I Have Been Sorely Misinformed, Supermodels Are Powerless To Resist A Man With Illuminated Doorsills.

And To Mindy, I Can Only Ever Say A Simple Thank You. And Dedicate The Rest Of My Life To Her.

And I Like Pygmy Goats, Because They're Just Lovely, And Ducks.