I Like To Stay At Home And

You Know You're A Hot Mess When The Only Person Buying You Drinks All Night Is Yourself.

I Understand That If You're A Kid In Indonesia, You Need To Smoke Because You Just Got Off Work At The Nike Factory.

If You Wait Too Long In Vegas, You End Up With A Chicken Finger In Your Underwear.

While Looking At A Website For Liposuction, I Learned That It Was A Six-to Eight-week Recovery Period, The Clincher Being That, During That Time, I Would Under No Circumstances Be Able To Use Street Drugs. Obviously I Had To Think Of A More Realistic Approach.

Obviously, If I Was Serious About Having A Relationship With Some One Long-term, The Last People I Would Introduce Him To Would Be My Family.