I Keep Finding Myself Stifled By The

My Father Has A Way Of Persuading People Without Charm That Has Always Confused Me. He States His Opinions As If They’re Facts, And Somehow His Complete Lack Of Doubt Makes You Believe Him. That Quality Frightens Me Now, Because I Know What He Told Me: That I Was Broken, That I Was Worthless, That I Was Nothing. How Many Of Those Things Did He Make Me Believe?

"welcome To The Amity Compound," Johanna's Eyes Fix On My Face, And She Smiles Crookedly. "let Us Take Care Of You."

Why Did You Do It?" I Say. "you Want Me Dead. You Were Willing To Do It Yourself! What Changed?" He Presses His Lips Together And Doesn't Look Away, Not For A Long Time. Then He Opens His Mouth, Hesitates, And Finally Says, " I Can't Be In Anyone's Debt. Okay? The Idea That I Owed You Something Made Me Sick. I Would Wake Up In The Middle Of The Night Feeling Like I Was Going To Vomit. Indebted To A Stiff? It's Ridiculous. Absolutely Ridiculous. And I Couldn't Have It.

I Wipe My Face With My Sleeve, Laughing So Hard My Stomach Hurts. If My Entire Life Is Like This, Loud Laughter And Bold Action And The Kind Of Exhaustion You Feel After A Hard But Satisfying Day, I Will Be Content.

That Our World Is So Massive That It Is Completely Out Of Our Control, That We Cannot Possibly Be As Large As We Feel.