I Identify With The Regular Person, Because

I Prefer Big Oprah. I Know Oprah Wants To Be Skinny Oprah, But Her Head Is Too Gigantic To Fit On A Skinny Body. She Has To Accept That, Like Kirstie Alley, She Was Meant To Be... Ahm... Voluptuous!

Most People Unfamiliar With The Men In A New Town Might Search For Love Until They Find It. I Picked Out Some Guy On My Second Day In La, Who Worked At The Local Bicycle Shop, And Handed My Virginity To Him. “you Can Fill A Tire? Sounds Good To Me. Let's Call It A Date.” Needless To Say He Wasn't Mr. Right.

When I'm Going To See A Comedian, I Don't Want To See Them Hold Back, And When I'm Reading A Book, I Don't Want To Hear An Abridged Version.

I Have No Limits, No Filter, No Class, No Poise. No Decorum. Just Fun.

Gwyneth Paltrow Names Her Kid Apple. I'm Not Going To Let That Stand.