I Have Given Up Trying To Be

I Do Not Like Vaudeville, But What Can I Do? It Likes Me.

You Instinctively Discover How To Entertain An Audience.

If I Get Married, I Think I'd Pick Out A Newspaperman Rather Than A Millionaire. A Newspaperman Is A Regular Fellow.

How Many Women Have The Courage To Start Properly With A Cold, Cold Bath Early In The Morning? I Jump In, Throw The Water, Cold As Ice, And After The First Plunge I Am Happy.

I Don't Want To Get Married, And I Don't Want To Work After I'm 30, So I Must Manage My Fortune Somehow In The Next Seven Years.