I Have Been Instrumental In Banning Bottled

People Are More Open About Seeking Help These Days. They Recognise The Fact That The Alternative To Having A Shrink Is That You Bore Your Friends Stupid. So I Figured That I Might As Well Give Someone 100 Bucks An Hour To Hear My Woes. At Least Someone Can Make A Living Out Of Listening To My Tedious Problems.

It Was The Sheer Variety Of The Pain That Stopped Me From Crying Out. It Came From So Many Places, Spoke So Many Languages, Wore So Many Dazzling Varieties Of Ethnic Costume, That For A Full Fifteen Seconds I Could Only Hang My Jaw In Amazement.

I Get Anxious About A Lot Of Things, That's The Trouble. I Get Anxious About Everything. I Just Can't Stop Thinking About Things All The Time. And Here's The Really Destructive Part - It's Always Retrospective. I Waste Time Thinking Of What I Should Have Said Or Done.

Humility Was Considered A Great Virtue In My Family Household. No Show Of Complacency Or Self-satisfaction Was Ever Tolerated. Patting Yourself On The Back Was Definitely Not Encouraged, And Pleasure Or Pride Would Be Punishable By Death.

People Are Falling All Over Themselves To Send You Free Shoes And Free Cufflinks And Colonic Irrigations For Two. Nobody Ever Offers You A Free Acceptance Speech. There Just Seems To Be A Gap In The Market. I Would Love To Be Able To Pull Out A Speech By Dolce & Gabbana.