I Have A Position Of Indirect Respect

I Always Thought I Was Going To Die Before I Was 60.

I Used To Go To The Library All The Time When I Was Kid. As A Teenager, I Got A Book On How To Write Jokes At The Library, And That, In Turn, Launched My Comedy Career.

You Know What I Worry About? I Worry That When I Hit My Head, It Pushes My Hair Into My Brain, And It Will Eventually Kill Me.

Just Because A Guy Has A Shaved Head, Pierced Nipples, And Doesn't Have Sex With Women Doesn't Make Him Gay. It Just Makes Him Down On His Luck.

I Was In The Band When I Was A Kid, I Played The Trumpet.