I Hate Seeing People That Look Like

I'm Very Hip-oriented. I Focus On Hips In My Comedy - Probably More Than Any Other Hipster Comic Who Is Out There Hipping Today. My Hips, Other Hips. I Work With My Hips A Great Deal. That Is What I Do. But Not In A Gay Way.

Glitter Is The Herpes Of Craft Supplies.

Never Be Less Interesting Than Your Refrigerator Magnets.

Separate But Equal Is Terrible For Education But It's Perfect For Eyebrows.

A Parade Looks Like A Bunch Of People Are Excited About Being In Traffic.