I Hate Religion. I Think It's A

Sam Harris Made That Great Analogy. He Said, 'if Someone Was Talking Into Their Hair Dryer And Claiming That They Were Speaking To God, They Would Call Bellevue. But, Take Away The Hair Dryer, It's Just Praying.'

The Media Is All Over This Oui Interview That Arnold Did 25 Years Ago. Now, He's Admitted He Smoked Pot, Had Group Sex And Didn't Mind Dating A Girl That Was Out Of Shape And Kind Of Fat If She Satisfied Him Sexually. So, His Handlers Have Stopped Comparing Him To Reagan And Started Comparing Him To Clinton.

New Rule: Stop Asking Miss Usa Contestants If They Believe In Evolution. It’s Not Their Field. It’s Like Asking Stephen Hawking If He Believes In Hair Scrunchies. Here’s What They Know About: Spray Tans, Fake Boobs And Baton Twirling. Here’s What They Don’t Know About: Everything Else. If I Cared About The Uninformed Opinions Of Some Ditsy Beauty Queen, I’d Join The Tea Party.

New Rule: You're Never Going To Pick Up Women At A Coffee Shop Pretending To Be Working On Your Laptop. You Don't Look Like You're Sensitive, You Look Like You're Homeless.the Last Guy To Pick Up A Chick With An Apple Was Adam. And When You Sit Across From Another Dateless Loser With A Laptop, It Still Doesn't Look Like You're Working--it Looks Like You're Playing Battleship.

If You Think You Have It Tough, Read History Books.