I Had No Idea This Thing Was

My Retirement Plan Was In Place But Bernie Maidoff With My Money.

Sarah Palin Had A Big Op-ed Piece In The Wall Street Journal, And She Said She's Against Death Panels. And I Thought, 'really? She's The One Who Pulled The Plug On The Mccain Campaign.'

Newt Gingrich Wants To Repeal Child Labor Laws. Ladies And Gentlemen, This Is The Man That We Need To Lead Us Into The 18th Century.

Moammar Gadhafi Was Found Hiding In A Storm Sewer With A Gold-plated Gun. That's Me In Retirement, Ladies And Gentlemen.

Congratulations To Ohio State, Your New College Football Champions. Coach Urban Meyer May Be The Greatest Football Coach Of All Time. Don't Confuse Him With New York Mayor Bill De Blasio. That's Urban Quagmire.