I Got My Lips Chewed Off By

Has The Mathematical Abilities Of A Clydesdale.

Here's Good News: George W. Bush Says That He Is Committed To Fighting Global Warming. Yeah, Well, He Nipped That In The Bud, Didn't He? ... President Bush Says He's Really Going To Buckle Down Now And Fight Global Warming. As A Matter Of Fact, He Announced Today He's Sending 20,000 Troops To The Sun

Yesterday Was Election Day. If We Have Any Democrats In The Audience, I'm Sorry But You're Going To Have To Give Up Your Seats.

When I Was A Kid In Indiana, We Thought It Would Be Fun To Get A Turkey A Year Ahead Of Time And Feed It And So On For The Following Thanksgiving. But By The Time Thanksgiving Came Around, We Sort Of Thought Of The Turkey As A Pet, So We Ate The Dog. Only Kidding. It Was The Cat!

I Want To Tell You Though, I'm Having The Absolute Best Birthday Ever. Last Night -- This Was So Sweet, It Means A Great Deal To Me -- The Other Cult Members Got Together And They All Took Me Out To See Star Wars.