I Got Into New College, Oxford. The

My Toils In The Quotation Field Have Led Me To Formulate Two Or Three Laws About The Way People Use And Abuse Quotations. My First Law Is: When In Doubt, Ascribe All Quotations To Bernard Shaw - Which I Don't Mean To Be Taken Literally, But As A General Observation Of The Habit People Have Of Attaching Remarks To The Nearest Obvious Speaker. Churchill, Wilde, Orson Welles And Alexander Woollcott Are Other Useful Figures Upon Whom To Father Remarks When You Don't Know Who Really Said Them.

Euphemism In The Workplace Does Not End With Job Descriptions. It Reaches A Pusillanimous Peak At The Other End Of The Work Process - In Dismissal.

I Was Terribly Shy And Never Said Anything In Class. Then I Started Getting Into School Plays. When You've Got Words To Say, You've Got A Sort Of Armour.

My Job Involves Searching For 'lost' Quotations - That Is, Trying To Find Out Who Came Up With A Quotable Saying That Lingers In Someone's Mind And Which They Wish To Use For Their Own Purpose And Which They Cannot Find In Conventional Dictionaries Of Quotation.

Democracy Is Too Good To Share With Just Anybody.