I Find Washington Audiences Are Basically The

I'd Make Jack Benny Look Like A Philanthropist.

Every Time Something Pops In My Head, I Think Twice About It And I Do It Anyway.

I've Never Understood People Who Say They're Not A Practicing Jew. You Never Hear A Black Guy Say He's Not A Practicing African-american. What Does It Even Mean?

Back When Jerry Seinfeld Was Just Another Comedian Hanging Around The Clubs, I'd Imitate Him To Amuse Myself And The Other Comics. The Club Owners Would Say, 'what Are You Doing That For? Nobody Knows Him.'

I'm One Of Those People, In Any Country I'm In, If Somebody Could Just Put Me In A Car Or A Bus, I'll Look Out The Window And Say, 'ok, There's The Tower Of London, There's Buckingham Palace, There's Big Ben,' And If It All Takes About Five Minutes, Perfect. I've Seen All Of It And I Can Go Home.