I Enjoy Bathing, As Many Europeans Don't.

The Sexy Magazine In Britain In That Time Was Called Club International. Club International: It Was About As International As The International House Of Pancakes. It Should Have Been Called Naked Cockney Girls With Scurvy.

Wait! Don't Applaud My Cheapness! I've Got Other Crap I Need Help With!

Every Year There's A Jury At The Cannes Film Festival. Getting On The Jury Is Very Competitive In France. Not Because The French Love Cinema, But Because They Love To Judge.

Clay Aiken Ran For Congress In North Carolina. But He Didn't Make It. Clay Aiken Is Famous For Coming In Second In A Tv Popularity Contest That Most People Got Fed Up With Years Ago. He Also Lost On 'american Idol.'

It's Earth Day Today. Let Me Tell You Something About Polar Bears. They're Endangered But You Have To Be Careful Because A Polar Bear Is One Of The Few Animals That Will Stalk A Human. If You Go To Where Polar Bears Live, It Might Stalk You And When You're On The Plane Going Home, It Might Be Behind You Reading.