I Don't Think I Am Particularly Funny.

.. International Hand Of Freindship. A Cigarette

Some Say His Droppings Have Been Found As Far North As York, And That He Has A Full Size Tattoo Of His Face, On His Face. All We Know Is He’s Called The Stig.

...it Seemed Appropriate That I Should Develop Some Kind Of Illness. This Is A Good Idea When You Are At A Loose End Because Everything, Up To And Including Herpes, Is Better Than Being Bored.

Column Writing Is Like Gas - It Fills The Available Space.

Do Not Cruise Through Red Lights. Because If I'm Coming The Other Way, I Will Run You Down, For Fun.