I Don't Need A President With A

So, To Say Obama Is Progress Is Saying That He’s The First Black Person That Is Qualified To Be President. That’s Not Black Progress. That’s White Progress. There’s Been Black People Qualified To Be President For Hundreds Of Years. The Question Is, You Know, My Kids Are Smart, Educated, Beautiful, Polite Children. There Have Been Smart, Educated, Beautiful, Polite Black Children For Hundreds Of Years. The Advantage That My Children Have Is That My Children Are Encountering The Nicest White People That America Has Ever Produced. Let’s Hope America Keeps Producing Nicer White People.

I'll Probably Pay More Attention To The Musicians In The Pit Than The Stars Because They're The Closest You're Going To Get To Normal People In The Audience.

Give Me A Black Man, A White Woman, A Giraffe, A Zebra Anything But Another White Man! That Last One F***ed Up My Roof!

When I Hear People Talk About Juggling Or The Sacrifices They Make For Their Children, I Look At Them Like They're Crazy Because Sacrifice Infers That There Was Something Better To Do Than The Thing - Than Being With Your Children.

There Are A Lot Of Good Comics, No Doubt, But As Far As The Quality Of The Comics Goes, I Think What You Have Is A Bunch Of Situational Comics - There Are Black Comics That Work Only Black Crowds, Gay Comics That Do Only Gay Crowds, And Southern Comics That Only Work Down South, And So On With Asian, Latino, Indian, Midgets, Etc. The Previous Generation's Comics Were Better Because They Had To Make Everybody Laugh.