I Don't Like When There's Too Much

I Wonder If Other Dogs Think Poodles Are Members Of A Weird Religious Cult.

I Have Too Many Credit Cards. You Know What Happened? Someone Stole One And I Didn't Notice. I Noticed When I Got That Bill. Whoa! It Was So Much Less! I'm Letting Him Keep It. I'm Saving Money!

I Get A Lot Of Return Business. I Think It's All Those Years I Put In Traveling Around The Country; People Saw Me Before And Had A Good Time So They Want To See Me Again.

My Parents Were Glad To See That My New Husband Looks Like A 'regular Guy'-no Earring Or Anything. But Really I Think A Man With An Earring Is Better Prepared For Marriage. I Mean, He's Already Experienced Pain And Bought Jewelry.

Men Are Self-confident Because They Grow Up Identifying With Super-heroes. Women Have Bad Self-images Because They Grow Up Identifying With Barbie.