I Don't Care If You Think I'm

When I Was Three, My Dad Thought It Would Be Hilarious To Teach Me Swear Words, Then Have Me Say Them To His Friends. They Would Laugh And Laugh. I Realize Now The Laugh Was Pure Shock Value, But It Felt Really Good, And I've Been Chasing It Ever Since.

Comics Who Grew Up Surviving Their Childhood By Being Able To Be The First One To Make The Joke About Their Weight Or Their Hairy Arms - Like Me - Whatever They're Insecure About, Whatever They're Apologizing For, That Becomes Their Strength.

I Don't Really Care For Like Fat Jokes About Women, Specifically.

People Who Follow Their Religion To The Letter Of The Law Are Just Silly. I Mean, I Want To Tell Hasidic Jews I Promise You, God Will Not Mind If You Wear A Nice Cotton Blend In The Summer.

I Tend To Be More Arrogant On Stage. Far More Ignorant. I Sometimes Say What I Think And Sometimes Say The Opposite Of What I Think And The Lines Get Blurred, But I Can Only Hope That Some Kind Of Absolute Power Transcends.