I Dish The Dirt Out And I

Driving Most Supercars Is Like Trying To Manhandle A Cow Up A Back Staircase, But This Is Like Smearing Honey Onto Keira Knightley.

The Problem Is That Television Executives Have Got It Into Their Heads That If One Presenter On A Show Is A Blonde-haired, Blue-eyed Heterosexual Boy, The Other Must Be A Black Muslim Lesbian.

Planet Earth Thought It Had £10. But It Turns Out We Only Had £2. Which Means Everyone Must Lose 80% Of Their Wealth

I Mean Its A Weekly Occurrence That Somebody Will Complain That Top Gear Was On Last Night - And You Just Sit Back And Wait For The Complaints. But If You Start To Pay Attention To Everyones Concerns, You End Up With Something Bland And Boring. So You Sort Of Have To Ignore Everybody In Order To Do The Show How We Want To Do It.

Column Writing Is Like Gas - It Fills The Available Space.