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Attorney General John Ashcroft Is In Intensive Care. He's Suffering From A Severe Case Of Pancreatitis, Which They Can't Really Figure Out Because He's Not Really A Drinker. They Think He Might Have Picked Up Some Type Of Infection While Wiping His Ass With The Bill Of Rights.

Sam Brownback, Mike Huckabee And Tom Tancredo - Those Were The Three Guys Who Said They Do Not Believe In Evolution. The Irony Will Be On Them When Their Campaigns Die Off In Favor Of Stronger, Fitter Campaigns.

If A President Must Constantly Remind The People That We're At War, Then We're Not.

I’m Supposed To Be All Re-injected With Yes-we-can Fever After The Big Health Care Speech, And It Was A Great Speech - When Black Elvis Gets Jiggy With His Teleprompter, There Is None Better. But Here’s The Thing: Muhammad Ali Also Had A Way With Words, But It Helped Enormously That He Could Also Punch Guys In The Face.

Our Mistakes From The Past Are Just That: Mistakes. And They Were Necessary To Make In Order To Become The Wiser Person We Became.