I Contend That Every Woman Has The

I Was Born Serious And I Have Earned My Bread Making Other People Laugh.

Never Shall I Forget Those Naked, Clean-swept Little Canadian Towns, One Just Like The Other. Before I Was Twelve Years Old, I Must Have Lived In Fifty Of Them.

I Never Weep Over Lost Money, For I Figure I'd Rather Go To The Poorhouse Once Than Go There Every Day.

I Enjoy Reading Biographies Because I Want To Know About The People Who Messed Up The World.

There Are Very Few Persons Who Would Think Of Inquiring Into The Private Life Of The Newspaper Dealer At The Corner, Or The Druggist, Or The Doctor, Or Even A Mah Jong Partner, But The Moment One Belongs To The Theatrical Profession, The Public Usually Feels Cheated Unless It Knows One's Inmost Thoughts Of Love.