I Can't Stand Folk Who Are All

I Admire The Elsie Tanners And Barbara Windsors Of The World: People Who Have Crawled Back From The Abyss. I'm Quite Camp In That Respect.

I Am Very Short-sighted, And If I Don't Like A Situation I Take My Glasses Off.

I've Just Got Crap Hair. Although I Inherited A Lot Of Stuff From My Dad, Including Giant Knees, I Didn't Get His Good, Thick Hair. I Got My Mother's Thin, Wispy, Non-event Hair Instead.

The Only Way To Go On Holiday Is With Your Expectations At Ground Level. Convince Yourself Before You Go That The Weather's Going To Be Dreadful And There Will Be Nylon Sheets. You'll Then Be Pleasantly Surprised.

The Comedy I Like The Best Is Comedy I Can't Do, Stuff That Doesn't Touch My Arena.