I Can Drink Like A Fish, Or

I Hated My Mom For Not Letting Me Play Football As A Kid. So When I Have Kids Someday, I Guarantee They'll Never Meet Their Grandmother.

I Would Write 100 Jokes A Day. Most Of Them Were Terrible. But I Just Said, 'i'll Write More Than Everybody Else, And That's How I'll Get Better.'

My Girlfriend Is Jewish. But It's Easier To Buy Her A Christmas Present And Then Break It Into 8 Pieces.

My Favorite Sport Is Football. I'm A Die Hard Steelers Fan. Favorite Players Were Hines Ward And Greg Lloyd.

It's Always Difficult When Someone Close To You Passes Away. But It's Really Tough When They're On Top Of You.