I Burned Sixty Calories. That Should Take

I Was A Vegetarian Until I Started Leaning Toward The Sunlight.

When You're A Dancer, You Start With The Basics. You Don't All Of A Sudden Do A Grand Jete And Pirouette. You Start With First Position, Second, Third.

Never Play Peek-a-boo With A Child On A Long Plane Trip. There's No End To The Game. Finally I Grabbed Him By The Bib And Said, "look, It's Always Gonna Be Me!"

My Husband Gave Me A Necklace. It's Fake. I Requested Fake. Maybe I'm Paranoid, But In This Day And Age, I Don't Want Something Around My Neck That's Worth More Than My Head.

My Parents Were Glad To See That My New Husband Looks Like A 'regular Guy'-no Earring Or Anything. But Really I Think A Man With An Earring Is Better Prepared For Marriage. I Mean, He's Already Experienced Pain And Bought Jewelry.