I Am Neither Left Wing Nor Right

The No. 1 Cause Of Forest Fires Is Trees.

It Is True That All Of The Current Presidential Candidates Once Denied That They Had Any Intention Of Running. But The Fact That I Am Also A Liar, Doesn't Make Me A Candidate.

I've Upped My Standards. Now, Up Yours.

Presidents Tend To Tinker, You Know, And Mess Everything Up.

People Come Up To Me In Bars And On Street Corners And They Say To Me, 'hey, Paulsen, Have You Got Any Change?'