I Always Drastically Changed My Look For

I Learned The Word Non-conformist In Fourth Grade And Immediately Announced That I Would Grow Up To Become One.

I Won't Read A New Graphic Comic Novel Until The Writer Has Completed The Entire Series. I Got Burned A Few Times When I Got Turned On To A Book, Plowed Through It Only To Find Out The Author Was In The Middle Of Writing The Next.

I Awaken. I Consume Oxygen, Then Bacon, Eggs And Black Coffee, Then My Wife, Then Bacon.

How Lucky My Life Is That I Have Two Arms, And Two Legs, And Ten Fingers With Which To Make Things Out Of Wood.

I Keep Having These Bros Come Up To Me And Say, "i Used To Watch You When I Was A Fetus," And I Just Want To Kill Them.