Hurricane Irene ... The Storm Was Huge

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo Just Signed A Bill That Bans Powdered Alcohol From The State. So If You Live In New York And You're Consuming Powdered Alcohol, Your Life Just Somehow Got Even Worse.

It's Being Reported That Google Spent Over $5 Million On Lobbying Just During The First Quarter Of This Year. You'd Think Google Wouldn't Really Need To Lobby Politicians. All They Have To Say Is, 'we Have Your Search History. Do What We Tell You.'

A Group Called The Texas Tea Party Patriots Is Hosting A Debate Next Month Where Newt Gingrich And Herman Cain Will Go Head To Head, While People Watching That Will Go Head To Pillow.

This Weekend President Obama Attended The Annual Gridiron Club Dinner, And During His Speech He Joked That He Is Getting Older And Crankier. Which Explains Why He Announced He No Longer Supports President Obama.

John Mccain Addressed Critics Who Believe He Will Be Too Old To Run For A Sixth Term In The Senate, Saying That He's Still Healthy And Ready To Go. Then People Around Mccain Said, 'why Is He Talking To That Mannequin?'