How Many Times Had I Let Myself

I Sat. And I Thought. And The More I Thought, Connecting The Events In My Life, The More My Heart Collapsed.

I Want To Collapse. I Want To Fall On The Sidewalk Right There And Drag Myself To The Ivy.

We All Know The Sound A Camera Makes When It Snaps A Picture. Even Some Of The Digitals Do It For Nostalgia’s Sake.

And Like I Said, I Didn't Know Him Very Well, But My Ears Perked Up Whenever I Heard His Name. I Guess I Wanted To Hear Something - Anything - Juicy. Not Because I Wanted To Spread Gossip. I Just Couldn't Believe Someone Could Be That Good. If He Was Actually That Good... Wonderful. Great! But It Became A Personal Game Of Mine. How Long Could I Go On Hearing Nothing But Good Things About Clay Jensen? Normally, When A Person Has A Stellar Image, Another Person's Waiting In The Wings To Tear Them Apart. They're Waiting For That One Fatal Flaw To Expose Itself. But Not With Clay.

Then Come To Realize That You're Making Mountains Out Of Molehills. Realize How Petty You've Become. Sure, It May Feel Like You Can't Get A Grip On This Town. It May Seem That Every Time Someone Offers You A Hand Up, They Just Let Go And You Slip Further Down. But You Must Stop Being So Pessimistic, Hannah, And Learn To Trust Those Around You. So I Do. One More Time.