Here's How My Brain Works: It's Stupidity,

Comedians And Feminists... Are Natural Enemies, Because Stereotypically-speaking, Feminists Can't Take A Joke And... Comedians Can't Take Criticism.

When I See Two Guys Kissing, I'm Like, How Come I Can't Kiss One Of Those Guys? They Look Like They're Having A Good Time.

You Can't Answer A Kid's Question. A Kid Never Accepts Any Answer. A Kid Never Says, 'oh, Thanks. I Get It.'... They Just Keep Coming With More Questions - Why, Why, Why? - Until You Don't Even Know Who The Fk You Are Anymore At The End Of The Conversation. It's An Insane Deconstruction.

I've Had Soccer Moms Come Up And Tell Me They Can Relate When I Say That I Want To Throw My Baby In The Trash.

...then I Got Divorced And Everything Changed, And I Became A Father In A Whole New Way And Found A Whole New Set Of Difficulties.