Haven't Two Hundred Years Of Failed Missionary

If You're Alive, Kick Into Drive. Chase Whimsies. See If You Can Turn Dreams Into A Way To Make A Living, If Not An Entire Way Of Life.

It's Not Like Someday My Kid's Gonna Be Standing Over My Grave, And Somebody's Gonna Hang Her A Folded Flag And Say, "you Know What? This Is 'cause He Did 24 Hours Straight On Twitter." But It's Just One Of Those Little Personal Victories, Like, "i Wonder If I Can Do This." And I Did It. A Stupid Goal, But I Accomplished It. Life's All About...for Me, At Least...having Very Stupid Achievable Goals. That Way, You Always Feel Like A Winner.

I'm Not Even Supposed To Be Here Today.

When Are You People Going To Learn? It's Not About Who's Right Or Wrong. No Denomination's Nailed It Yet, Because They're All Too Self-righteous To Realize That It Doesn't Matter What You Have Faith In, Just That You Have Faith. Your Hearts Are In The Right Place, But Your Brains Need To Wake Up. I Have Issues With Anyone Who Treats Faith As A Burden Instead Of A Blessing. You People Don't Celebrate Your Faith; You Mourn It.

If You Grow Up Fat, You Have To Try Harder.