Good News. President Bush Is Creating Thousands

The Democratic Convention Is $27 Million In Debt. They Had To Cancel The Kick-off Event At The Charlotte Motor Speedway. A Speedway Is The Perfect Place For The Democratic Convention. You Go Around In Circles, Turn Left Every Few Seconds, And You End Up Right Where You Started.

The Flinstones Wore Furs, They Ate Red Meat, And Had A Stoneage Philosophy. In Fact, They Were The First Republicans.

You Know What The Bounty Is On Bin Laden? $25 Million. It Sounds Like A Lot Until You Realize The Texas Rangers Paid $250 Million To Get Alex Rodriguez.

I Think High Self-esteem Is Overrated. A Little Low Self-esteem Is Actually Quite Good. Maybe You're Not The Best, So You Should Work A Little Harder.

Howard Dean Announced Today He Will Campaign In Seven States. The States Are Rage, Frenzy, Fury, Rath, Fever, Agitation, And Delirium. Yeeeeaaaah!