Everyone Needs To Take A Vacation From

I Met A Woman Who Photographed Celebrity Dogs For A Book, And She Told Me That Ralph Lauren's Dog Is Named Rugby. I Said, Yeah, But His Real Name Is Stickball.

The Only Good Thing About Fame That I've Gotten Is I've Gotten Out Of A Couple Of Speeding Tickets. I've Gotten Into A Restaurant When I Didn't Have A Suit And Tie On. That's Really About It.

My First Movie, I Got Nominated For A Canadian Oscar-for Meatballs. For Meatballs. And Who Am I Up Against? George C. Scott. So He Wins The Award And I Stand Up And Go, 'that's It-let's Get The Hell Outta Here.'

If I Run Into Someone On The Street, That's One Thing. But Answering Mail For A Living? I Like A Job Where You Can Play And Act Kind Of Goofy And Have Some Fun.

I Will Be In Orlando During The Atheist Convention To Do My Best To Counter The Assaults Upon Christ Of The Atheists. I Also Plan On Running A Large Newspaper Ad In The Orlando Sentinel Addressed To The Atheists And Warning The Orlando Area Of The Atheists' Vile Plans For Their Children.