Every Compulsion Is Put Upon Writers To

When Audiences Come To See Us Authors Lecture, It Is Largely In The Hope That We'll Be Funnier To Look At Than To Read.

He Who Has Seen One Cathedral Ten Times Has Seen Something; He Who Has Seen Ten Cathedrals Once Has Seen But Little; And He Who Has Spent Half An Hour In Each Of A Hundred Cathedrals Has Seen Nothing At All.

There Are Two Insults Which No Human Being Will Endure: The Assertion That He Hasn't A Sense Of Humor, And The Doubly Impertinent Assertion That He Has Never Known Trouble.

You've Been Telling Us About How To Secure Peace, But Come On, Now, General-just Among Us Rotarians And Rotary Anns-'fess Up! With Your Great Experience, Don't You Honest, Cross-your-heart, Think That Perhaps-just Maybe-when A Country Has Gone Money-mad, Like All Our Labor Unions And Workmen, With Their Propaganda To Hoist Income Taxes, So That The Thrifty And Industrious Have To Pay For The Shiftless Ne'er-do-weels, Then Maybe, To Save Their Lazy Souls And Get Some Iron Into Them, A War Might Be A Good Thing? Come On, Now, Tell Your Real Middle Name, Mong General!

Damn The Great Executives, The Men Of Measured Merriment, Damn The Men With Careful Smiles, Damn The Men That Run The Shops, Oh, Damn Their Measured Merriment.