Even Great People Are Always Slightly Disappointing,

The Important Thing Is Not To Be Defined By What Others Think Of You.

It May Seem Like Improv Because It Flows Quite Naturally, And A Little Bit Of Leeway For Improvisation Is Good, But You Have To Be Judicious With It. So It's Good, But Sometimes People Deify It. You Can't Improvise Your Way Out Of A Paper Hat.

Guide Dogs For The Blind. It's Cruel Really, Isn't It? Getting A Dog To Lead A Man Round All Day. Not Fair On Either Of Them.

A Friend Of Mine Once Said He Like His Women Like His Parmesan: Strong Smelling And Shaved. I Don't Agree With That, But I Don't Like Hairy Women.

If You're Driving Your Car And Someone Winds The Window Down And Gives You The Finger And Calls You An Asshole, Instead Of Giving Him The Finger Back And Calling Him An Asshole Back, You Just Pull A Funny Face, And He Doesn't Know How To React To That, Because You're Using Different Rules.