Earlier In My Career, I Was Really

The Best Time To Have A Baby Is When You're A Black Teenager.

When You’re A Bed Wetter There’s Only One Group Of People You Can Feel Better Than, Bed Shitters, And Unfortunately They’re Hard To Come By.

It's Just Hard To Say, "well, I Do This, Which Means This." If I'm Telling You Exactly Who I Am, Then There's Nothing For The Audience To Say.

All Comics Want To Be Musicians. There's A Part Of Me That Wants To Be A Serious Musician. I Love Songs About Heartache And Heartbreak.

I Gave Him A Compliment! All Right, I Told Him He Probably Would've Made, Like, A Really Expensive Slave In The, Like, In The Olden-timey Days.