During Misfortunes, Nothing Aggravates Our Condition More,

The Soul Is Never Perfectly Secure From The Influence Of Passion; The Occasional Tranquility She Seems To Enjoy, Is Rather Relaxation Than Imperturbable Triumph.

I Went To A Hypnotist. He Put Me Under A Spell, And Every Time I Had A Craving For A Cigarette, I Would Throw Up. It's Very Embarrassing Right After Sex. I Find It Pretty Hard To Get That Second Date After That. Girls Get All Snobby After You Barf On Them.

Yeah Man, They Call Gambling A Disease, But It's The Only Disease Where You Can Win A Bunch Of Money.

The Most Frequent Cause Of Regret For What We Have Done Is Because Its Effects Interfere With What We Would Do.

Last Christmas, I Got The Worst Gift A Guy Ever Gave Me. He Gave Me A Lottery Ticket... What's The Guy Even Thinking There. Here You Go... Nothing! Merry Christmas! It's Nothing!