Congratulations Are In Order For Woody Allen

Nothing, Believe Me, Nothing Is More Satisfying To Me Personally Than Getting A Great Idea And Then Beatin' It To Death.

They Found A Cave Once Lived In By Osama Bin Laden And The Only Thing In The Cave Were Some Boxer Undershorts, And Macaroni. I'm Telling You, You Add An Old Stack Of Playboys, This Could Be My Place. It's Like I Have A Twin.

Halloween Is The Beginning Of The Holiday Shopping Season. That's For Women. The Beginning Of The Holiday Shopping Season For Men Is Christmas Eve.

It Is Cold Down In Washington, Dc. They Had To Use An Ice Scraper On John Boehner's Face To Get The Tears Off, It Was So Cold.

How About Those Olympics, Ladies And Gentlemen. Didn't London Look Like The Place To Be? New York City Was In The Running For This Olympics. But Here's What Happened. We Got Outbribed.