Civilization Means Conforming To A Standard Of

I Don't Differentiate Much, Except In Degree, Between People Who Believe In Religion From Those Who Believe In Astrology, Magic Or The Supernatural.

The One Affectation I Have Forced On The Publisher... Are My Apostrophe-free Ellisions. Because I Write My Scripts To Read Myself, I Dont Spell 'don't' With An Apostrophe. I Spell It 'dont'. We All Know The Word And It Seems Foolish To Put In An Extraneous Apostrophe. Punctuation Marks Are Devices We Use To Make The Meaning Of Sentences Clear. There Is Nothing Confusing About A Word Like 'dont' Printed Without An Apostrophe To Indicate An Omitted Letter.

By The Time They're Ready To Be Thrown Away, Most Shoes Are Thoroughly Comfortable

I Never Get Over Feeling Bad About Tearing Open A Beautifully Wrapped Present. It Takes Ten Seconds To Destroy A Work Of Art That Took Someone Ten Minutes To Accomplish.

Yes, We Praise Women Over 40 For A Multitude Of Reasons. Unfortunately, It's Not Reciprocal. For Every Stunning, Smart, Well-coiffed, Hot Woman Over 40, There Is A Bald, Paunchy Relic In Yellow Pants Making A Fool Of Himself With Some 22-year Old Waitress. Ladies, I Apologize. For All Those Men Who Say, "why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free?", Here's An Update For You. Nowadays 80% Of Women Are Against Marriage. Why? Because Women Realize It's Not Worth Buying An Entire Pig Just To Get A Little Sausage!