Christmas Seems To Start Earlier And Earlier

I Used To Get Drunk Every Night Until I Puked. Finally I Admitted, "i Am A Bulemic".

I Thought I Was Raptured Up Into The Air Today; Turns Out, It Was Just My Gas Oven Exploding.

I Was At The Wal-mart, Which Is Where I Think Everybody Goes Eventually. If They Die Without Christ.

Computers Aren't Intelligent, They Only Think They Are.

Once I Was In A Restaurant And I Dropped My Fork On The Floor, And They Gave Me A New Fork. So I Pushed My Girlfriend Out Of Her Chair.